Dear Good Christian Girl, You Are Believing a Lie

When did you give your heart to Jesus? That's what they say, right? That's how they ask it. 

Well, me, I was four. 

That's what I am told, anyway. 

Four years old, in my best friend's driveway, I told my mom that I wanted to give my heart to Jesus. And so I did. I prayed that prayer-- I don't remember quite how it goes now. 

I have a four year old. 

I'm pretty sure she thinks God looks like Santa and sometimes she tells me that Jesus is in her belly and will come out like a baby at some point, maybe not today because today she is having triplets, but maybe tomorrow.

Are you catching my drift? 

I grew up in church-- many different kinds. I went to a Christian school through 8th grade. I didn't drink until I was 21 (almost), no sex before marriage, I didn't commit any crimes, I didn't do drugs, I moved away from home, went to college and eventually I got married and started to have kids. 

I didn't fall away. I never backslid. 

Good Christian Girl, that's me. 

She may be you, too. 

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This past Sunday at church, we heard the testimony of a man who led a life nothing like mine. He led a life that was (in his words) "filled with fear." He spoke of the power of the Holy Spirit and Jesus' sacrifice with such conviction. 

He had an experience with God that was undeniable. 

I never had that.

Good Christian Girl, you are living a lie. 

Good Christian Girl, you believe because there is no obvious climax in your testimony (do you even have a testimony???) that you are sentenced to a life of mediocrity. 

Think about that. Jesus spits out the lukewarm.

Fire-y christians are the ones with the story. Fire-y christians have a testimony that brings people to tears. 

I admit that I have been guilty of amping up parts of my walk with God to seem like there was a huge turning point. Otherwise, the seemingly small God details of my life could be written off as coincidences.

Christians who believe that coincidences are God-orchestrated events are foolish. 

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Sitting in church on Sunday, I felt a (gentle) punch in my gut. 

"Your life is no coincidence. When did you become so wise?

Those small moments, those small prayers, the moment in the car when you were four--- 

every time you write them off as coincidences, as foolishness, you fall deeper and deeper into the pit of mediocrity. 

You push away from me, you don't give me the honor. 

Your life is FILLED with God moments, but to you they are foolishness.

I love you. 

I want you to see me there, with you, the whole time. Holding you. You are my daughter. 

Recognize me."

Dear Good Christian Girl,

 

“I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive—but you are dead. 2Wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is almost dead. I find that your actions do not meet the requirements of my God.3Go back to what you heard and believed at first; hold to it firmly. Repent and turn to me again..." Rev 3:1-3

I may not remember the prayer I prayed when I was four, but He does. It may seem foolish to believe a four year old could commit to God-- and maybe she can't. But He can commit to her and 

Good Christian Girl, He has. 

Recognize Him.