What is my objective?

This may seem elementary; most everything does after the "light bulb" moment.

But THIS, my friends, seems too easy-- like everyone probably already knows about this incredible mind shift except for me.

So, your welcome, for the reminder-- and maybe the giggle at my expense.

It's late. Bedtime has taken much longer than I expected once again. Every day, I say that we will start bedtime a half hour earlier to make room for the silliness, stalling and inevitable poop that needs to happen as soon as she is covered up. It never happens. We always start too late and so there I am, standing there, stressed, irritated, TIRED.

 I feel like Dr. Leo Martin vs. Bob Wiley. 

Holy smokes. YES. That's exactly how I feel at the end of the day.

 It's just too much. And I hate it. I despise myself in that moment. I have these out of body experiences where I hear what I am saying and see the tension in me and I feel so sad (and pretty pathetic too).

I just want to shake myself!

But in that gross, disgusting moment, when I was watching myself, THAT'S when it hit me. 

Thanks to my Bachelors of Fine Arts... (finally)

 I was watching the scene and I felt the tug. The gentle question -- as my teachers in school asked me so often: 

What's your objective?

BED. Bed is my objective. Cover her up-- no wait, give her a sip of water so that she doesn't get uncovered to get a sip of water. Give her a sip of water, cover her up, move her hair our of her face, give her a kiss and GET THE F OUT! That's my objective! 

Right then, I became present. She was laying down now. She was asking me if I could pray for her-- she was asking me to tell her about what we would do the next day and wanting to help make a plan for the morning. She just wanted to play-- and interact and talk-- and me? 

Moments before, I could hardly keep my head from exploding. 

Instead of standing over her, holding her blanket, forcing myself to breathe deeply, I knelt down and  I asked myself again: What's my objective?  

Connect. My objective has to be to connect. 

My posture seemed to relax and in turn, so did hers. My voice became soothing instead of sharp and threatening-- she became quieter. We discussed some concerns of the night-- feeling hot/cold, needing a bandaid etc. and we smiled about what tomorrow would bring.

I still wanted her in bed (desperately) but when I focused on engaging her, my crazy little beauty, I didn't feel pathetic anymore-- or sad. I felt strong and capable of being the mom I know I can be. 

When I stop with my external objectives and put the focus on the relationships around me-- the atmosphere actually changes.

Harmony happens. Peace. Unforced rhythms of grace.

And bedtime becomes a heck of a lot easier! 

The Three Essentials

I told God one day, "I want my (our) daughter to grow and learn and be healthy." Much to my surprise He didn't go on and on about the importance of always eating organic food, or keeping her away from sweets (Gosh, I wish He had because that would be the BEST excuse when explaining myself to family and friends). He didn't say anything about parenting philosophies, approaches to learning, or taking multi-vitamins either. This is what He said:

Sunlight. Fill her with the Word. Relax. 

That's what it takes?

I wasn't sure if I had heard the whole sunlight business correctly... I mean, what about SPF 155 and sun hats and umbrellas? But then I got to thinking... God created the sun, He would never create something that would destroy His people... I decided to do some research.

Did you know that living creatures survive because of sunlight? Plants need it to grow and we need it for energy and growth as well. We not only consume sunlight from being outside on a sunny day, we also get vitmain D and stored solar energy from the plants and animals that we consume.
Hello cellular respiration! Finally, biology class is coming in handy!

The latest research is also showing that EARLY exposure to sunlight decreases the risks for autoimmune diseases like multiple sclerosis and cancers like prostate and wait for it... MELANOMA! It seems that the people who have a history of being in the sun are more likely to recover from cancers like melanoma. Crazy. Absolutely crazy.

The list goes on...

[Now I realize that our world is broken, and that the sun and our atmosphere are not necessarily in tip top shape, I am certainly not negating the importance of sun safety. My point is that it was created for good-- and we should take advantage of that-- not fear it.]

Next up-- filling her with the Word. I must admit, this is one that I struggle with. How do you fill a baby/toddler with the Bible!? I've come to take this a couple of ways... there is the Bible, there are the words that God speaks to me, and there are the words God speaks to her.

As for the Bible, when she was a baby, I would read to her while she nursed. I imagined the sweet words of God seeping into her little brain, exciting her spirit, and nurturing her in the best way possible.

But then she became a toddler.

We read a little toddler Bible to her occasionally-- and when I read my "verse of the day" I try to remember to read it out loud to her. It seems as though her busy toddler self doesn't really care much for the Bible though. hmph.
I still believe that whether she is sitting quietly in my lap as I read or roaming around looking for a left over snack somewhere on the floor, the words of the Bible are seeping into her little brain, exciting her spirit and nurturing her in the best way possible :)

Then there are the words that I hear from God, that her dad hears and that even the other people around her hear. We believe these are just as important to growing a little life. Early on we started recording her history and soon after she was born I started writing down the things that God was speaking to me about being a mom. These may not serve her just yet, but eventually I know that these "words of God" will build her up and encourage her wherever she is at.

Finally there are the words that God speaks to her. This has been my favorite way by far of filling my child with the Word! We simply ask her to be still for a minute and see what God is saying to her, or sometimes we ask her if she would like to pray and wait to see what comes out!
She will often tell us that Jesus is saying her name... one time she prayed that her friend would come over the next day. I decided to keep my mouth shut and not tell her that her friend was not coming over--and good thing because the next day his mom called and asked if we could watch him for a couple of hours! How amazing it was to share that answer to prayer with her. Hopefully this type of simple communication will foster an incredible relationship between her and her Father.

Last, but certainly not least, was God telling me to chill out. I, and I think a lot of moms, can get quite crazy about- well- everything! Crazy about nap time, whether or not our kids are eating too much or too little or the wrong things. Crazy about how much time is spent on the iPhone or the television, and what they are actually watching on these devices! Or how about GOOGLE??! I find myself constantly googling symptoms and issues-- one time I even heard God say "do you trust me or google?" GULP.

Whisper His name in the whirlwind.

I once heard that said. Seems to be the cure to my craziness-- my key to relaxation.

It centers me-- whispering His name.

I also remind myself that my kids are His kids-- and before I lay them down to sleep I give them right back to him (well, let's be honest here-- when I remember!). Like, audibly tell myself and God, "here you go-- they are yours!"

So sunlight, word, relax. Seems easy.

It's not.

The busy-ness of this life seems to get in the way of most of what God teaches me.

But when I remember what God has spoken, life seems so much sweeter.

In these moments I learn exactly what it meant when Jesus said "my yoke is easy", and I can rest assured and in true trust that my children will grow and learn and be healthy.

Ask and you will receive!

Childlike

I am thankful to have a husband who strives to make his relationship with his children mirror that of our Father and all of his children. When our daughter was a bit younger and she would fall asleep in his arms I would think "Yes! This is what true trust and rest look like. Sleeping so soundly in dad's arms, not a care, not a worry or thought about the future. Completely at rest."

God continues to show me how I should be through my children.

Nothing like a child to learn how to be childlike!

I believe this is what He has said to me:

"Be like a child.

Carried.

Moved by her parents.

Receiving love. Giving love by just being.

Asking for what she needs in her own language until she learns the language of her parents.

Not giving up.

Observing.

Finding wonder in everything.

Learning constantly.

Wanting to be no where else but in her parents arms."

What if this is how our relationship with God went? 

What would that look like?