Dang right, you must get that from your mother! Part two.

Finally!! A minute to sit and get the second part of this enormous lesson out of my head.

It's becoming more and more clear to me that we become parents not only to, and maybe I will even dare to say, NOT to parent new humans, but to explore and learn and be guided in a whole new side of ourselves that God put in us for HIS purposes.

It (being life, everything in life) is always about our relationship with him. Always. It never isn't.

And yes, of course, to achieve all of the goodness God has on this parenting journey, we must in fact be PARENTS, but ultimately we are ALL His children. He has us. He has them.

We are just standing in--

and in my little opinion, it's not because he needs us to. It's because we need us to.

Mind. Blown.

I think about my dear Simon boy a lot. I love him. I take care of him. I can tell you his schedule, I can sort of tell you his likes, I can definitely tell you his dislikes-- and I can tell you most of this in the context of Judah-- his big sister. Naturally, he is the stereotypical second child. I have in fact, not only forgotten his name, but I have forgotten he exists.

For instance, Simon likes when Judah jumps up and down. Simon doesn't like Judah to take toys from him. Meal times are mostly about screaming for food because I am not only focused on feeding him but also feeding his sister. These said screaming sessions, lead me to believe that he really likes to eat... so forth and so on. I learn about him, mostly because of his interactions with his big sister.

and this isn't bad, it is what it is.

 He was born into a family with a sister who likes to manage, likes to talk, a lot, likes to oversee and organize-- He will be the person he was destined to be largely because of the circumstances he was born into. Hence why many first borns, second borns etc. are predictable in many ways.

 Anyway, Simon was in his 10th month of life and really didn't have any words at all.

 NOW before anyone starts thinking that I am expecting too much, or thinking that I think he should be more like his sister-- that's not what this is about. I am the SPOKESPERSON for kids developing on their own timelines-- and not forcing anything on them.
I wasn't concerned about his speech or development.

I was concerned for my sanity.

I couldn't take the screaming and yelling for what he needed (specifically at meal times) anymore. My head was about to explode.

I remember the day. Just looking up to the heavens. Oh dear LORD, why won't this kid just TALK?!

And I remember so clearly the answer.

"You talk about him. You talk around him. How often do you talk to him?"

GULP.

That was it. I sat down. I looked at him. "Simon, it seems like you need something. Can I get you some more?"

This seems elementary. I know. It is!

But when you have 8,576,000 things to do and think about at one time and then a preschooler QUESTIONING your every move--- you don't take much time to talk to the screamer! You hear the scream and you do whatever has to be done to MAKE IT STOP.

Two days later he was asking for more. Praise you sweet Jesus. Seriously.

This got me thinking. God wanted me to focus on Simon. To build an intentional connection with him- an intentional relationship.

Through this seemingly small change, Simon was able to move into his full potential at the moment.

Relationship matters.

What would happen if we focused our energy for just one day, even, on being super intentional in our love and communication with the people around us? Would they, in turn, move into their full potential? Would we all feel more alive?

What would happen if we stopped talking about God-- but made a significant effort to speak with him. What would happen if we actually made our relationship with Jesus, a relationship that we pursued with focus, discipline and intention?

I bet there would be a change. I bet we would hear him. I bet prayers wouldn't seem so distant. We would know Him, and I bet His realness to us-- would be the light that we need to shine in darkness.

I hope that I can continue to pursue intentional relationships in my life. I hope my children see that,
and I hope that I hear one day I hear someone say to them, "You must get that from your mother!"

You must get that from your mother

There are crumbs covering the kitchen counter. There are smushed blueberries all over the kitchen floor. The coffee table that I am resting my feet on is covered with keys, a jean jacket, books, a pretend baking pan, a water bottle, crocs, a paper towel with Chipotle chip crumbs on it, a journal, a shirt, a pair of feet pajamas, wipes, six tea-party cups, two bibs, a remote control, a sheet of stickers and a baby ergo.

It's a mess in here. 

That's not to mention the couch that I made room to sit on. 

I can only BEGIN to tell you how much this mess makes my head spin. It's constant. All. The. Time. It's no matter how many times I put things away, they come back. Everyone hears about it. The kids, the cats, my friends, my mommy acquaintances, and my husband. 

This mess has it's own blog post for goodness sakes! 

The mess stresses me out and poisons every part of my life. When the house is messy I feel distracted. I feel dirty, I feel busy, I feel like I can't sit and enjoy, well, anything. I'm constantly moving. Constantly telling the kids "in a minute, let me just clean up..."  and constantly pushing my husband away so I can wipe a countertop or clean a dish. I can hardly focus on writing this post because the coffee table looks the way it does! 

Clutter has hijacked my life. 

Lately, Ive been hearing things like this out of my almost three year-old's mouth: 

"It's a mess in here!" 

"Mom, can you fix my bed, it's a mess!"

"Let me just wipe my baby's face, it's a mess!" 

I'm remembering how impressionable children are. For better... or worse. 

My eyes well up a bit, my throat gets lumpy. 

Lately, I've also been hearing things like this: 

Me: "Let's thank God for our meal, do you want to pray?"

J: "No."

"Stop praying mom."

"I don't want to pray, you pray." 

Or,

Me: "Did Jesus say anything to you?"

J: "No, he was sleeping."

What kind of example am I setting for my children? Am I who I want them to be? 

Why do I pray and worship when they can't see but fret and worry when they can? 

Will I be proud when someone says "You must get that from your mother..."?

I look again at the coffee table. The kitchen counter. There are muffin crumbs because we had a breakfast treat this morning. There are keys because we went outside today. There are books because we love to read and visit the library. There are crocs because I found the perfect orange crocs on sale today that I know J will just love! There is a paper towel with chip crumbs because we shared a snack together. There is a a tea party set and baking pans because my daughter loves to use her imagination! The list could go on. 

A friend mentioned to me today that perspective is key. That choosing joy is necessary. 

I am going to do that. No matter what the control freak, type A in me says, I am going to do that.

And when the kids wake up, I am going to turn up the music and let them see me worship-- even if I'm standing on blueberries and muffin crumbs!